Is Baby Shower (Godh Bharai) permissible in Islam?

In the Name Allah, the most beneficent, the most merciful.

Assalam-u-alaykum,

Recently, with God's Mercy, some of the women in my family became pregnant. This is one of the happiest occassion for our family, and it usually sparks many celebration and gift exchanges.

Unfortunately, due to lack of understanding of Islam, it brought some misunderstandings among some family members. At the root was the question whether Islam permits Baby Shower (Godh Bharai)? So, lets analyze to find an answer to that question.

Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Whoever imitates a people is one of them.” Narrated by Abu Dawood, 4021

It is narrated on the authority of the Mother of the Believers, Umm 'Abdullah 'Aishah, radiyallahu 'anha, that the Messenger of Allah, sallallahu 'alayhi wasallam, said:

"Whosoever introduces into this affair of ours (i.e. into Islam) something that does not belong to it, it is to be rejected." [Al-Bukhari & Muslim]

There are alot of details to the rulings, but they can be simply written as follows.

Rules for Halal and Haram:

1) In ibadat and aqeedah, anything that is taught in Quran and Sunnah, is Halal, and everything else is bidah or Haram.

2) In worldly affairs, anything that is forbidden directly or indirectly in Quran and Sunnah is Haram, and everything else is Halal.

So, the only real question is how Baby Shower (Godh Bharai) fits in the 2 above rules? Is it an ibadat?

Answer is not straight forward, and will require a little bit of explaiantion.

It is celebrated by Non-Muslims as a non-religuous celebration, but Hindus do elivate it to a religuous occassion, and add many traditions that go agains "Tawakal-ul-Allah" Dependence on Allah.

It depends on the intention of the organizer, and what actions are performed during that event.

1. - Intention cannot be to protect from "Nazar" (Evil Eye) or removing bad omen. Specifically Hindu traditions and setup need to be avoided, which will make it Ibadat, since one is depending upon the ceremony to bless the baby and not upon Allah,

- Haram activities cannot be allowed.

If the following Haram activities are avoided, Baby Shower (Godh Bharai) is CONDITIONALLY PERMITTED as a cultural event. In Fact, it is recommended.

on the authority of Al-Bayhaqi, through a sound chain of narrators, that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: 'Exchange presents, so that love prevails among you'.

Following acts during the Baby Shower will make it Haram.

• Intention is to follow a non-muslim community in thier ceremonies.
• Believing that this event will protect the baby, and if not done some harm can come.
• Hindu or other ceremonial acts
• Setup hindu or non-muslim environment like 'colth over the head'.
• Putting Tikka on the forehead
• Saying chants like "nazar na lagey"
• Burning chillie
• Waving money on the head in a circle
• Or, any other act that can be identfied as done by Hindus or other non-Muslims.
• Intentionally Missing Salah during that event.
• Mixing of sexes (Men are present, and women not wearing Hijab)
• Music is played.
• Displays of lewdness
• Alcoholic drinks
• Vulgarity
• Any other Haram activity, which is prohibited in general.
  

Following acts can make it a blessing from Allah

• Begin with Allah's Name, or recitation from Quran
• Disallow Men from the ceremony, including the husband
• Disallow all general Haram activities
• Never try to remove bad omen
• Direct all well wishes and duas towards Allah
• Share experiences of pregnancies
• Avoid references to Non-Muslim traditions
• Exchange gifts
• Prepare food
• Have fun
  

Please do gather and celebrate happiness as a group, and May Allah bless each and everyone who participates.

And Allah Knows best!

Adnan

References

http://abulaith.wordpress.com/2008/02/27/the-islamic-ruling-regarding-baby-showers-in-america/

http://www.islamonline.net/servlet/Satellite?pagename=IslamOnline-English-Ask_Scholar%2FFatwaE%2FFatwaEAskTheScholar&cid=1119503543924

http://www.ummah.com/forum/showthread.php?252352-Are-baby-showers-Halal&p=3846688&viewfull=1

Boot Camp: Becoming a practicing Islam

In the Name of Allah, the Compassionate, the Merciful.

I ask this question to myself many times a day, and yet to get a complete answer. Now, I am not talking about becoming a pious person, which I may never become and don't know how to teach anyone. I am talking about just becoming a Muslim enough to answer yes, if someone asks "Are you a practicing Muslim?".

When I meet my family and other Muslims, I am always waiting for someone to discuss this, but no one has asked or wanted to talk about it so far, except my wife.

When Rasool Allah (PBUH) says that make religion easy for yourself, I think he means it. He never asked anyone to stop all haram acts cold turkey, because it is not humanly possible. I follow him, so I can't expect myself and others to do that as well. But, we can't intentionally induldge haram thinking we can never be pious so why quite this.

However, important thing is the intention and acting upon that intention of trying to fulfill the basic duties and become a minimum follower of Mohammad (PBUH), also known as Muslim.

It would not be fair to criticize others without evaluating myself. I am currently working on three things that will help me become a better muslim.

1) Ikhlaq towards others, because I have been avoiding relationships with my family and friends, and am working on it to become a Muslim in that aspect.

2) Improve my understanding in Quran and Sunnah, especially the ability to read Quran with tajweed which is fard upon us.

3) Wasting time in entertainment. Although I have stopped listening to music, which was the only way to repair the attraction towards Allah, I am still addicted to TV, and spend way too much time on sports, dramas, news. Need to bring it down.


Now, if someone is interested, here are some things to do to start the journey in becoming a practicing Muslim, in my humble opinion

1) Stop Listening to Music. Some how find a way to do that. There is no way a person can listen to Music with musical instrument part of the day and remember Allah as he should be remembered. I mean one can convince themsleves that they remmber Allah in the heart, but Allah had Mohammad (PBUH) spent 23 years teaching ways to remember Allah, and they are telling Allah that he wasted his time, and they know exactly how to remember him. It is just wrong.

2) Stop lying and back bitting. Backbitting will suck all the goodness from one's heart. Literlaly. When someone lies, their brain have to imagine something that is not real, and it affects the brain, and slowly their brain becomes disconnected from reality. It will be hard and weired first to tell the truth, but it is so satisfying knowing that one is telling the truth. Always. Even in jokes. Even in casual conversations. There are some exceptions to that. One is allowed to lie to hide their spouse defects, and to prevent a fight between two muslims, and to save their life. Next time someon calls and ask how long before you reach their home, please tell them the truth, instead of saying "5 minutes".

3) Stop eating and drinking haram. It is logical that whatever one eat makes cells in their body, and when Allah prohibits something it is not some random selction. He prohibited only which is not good. Oh but one beer a day may be. Nope. Comman now! Also, Why feed the family with money earned by Haram activities?

4) Pray Salat regulary and on time. Notice I put Salat at #4. I would recommend from the begining, but that takes alot of will power while listening to Music, so its not fair. Shaytan is much more powerful than us and knows exactly how to break our will.

5) Follow Hijab and grow beard (men). Hijab is for man also. Man should lower their eyes when a non-mahram is in sight. This is the tipping point of being a Muslim. If you cross this hurdle, everything is downhill. Now, you may disagree on importance of this, and deny Surah Nur verse 30-31, but the fact is that a person's perspective changes, when they change their physical appearence. If one doesn't come over this hesitation, it is almost impossible to go to next level.

The above 5 things are the boot camp, and it shouldn't take more than 1 year to bring about majority of these changes if you already are not doing them.

Have you not ever think about coming a little closer to Islam?

Is the pleasure in Haram so sweet that you are willing to bet your afterlife on it?

If someone has stopped believing that they will be judged for everything they do, then no one can help that person. Even Allah requires us to change our condition before he can guide us.

May Allah gives me strength to teach good to others, and to ask them to stop haram.

If you make intention, May Allah makes this easier for you then he did for me.

Slave of Allah
Adnan

Why not to celebrate Father's day.

To my family and others,

Celebrating Father's day is not prohibited, and you can do so.

However, keep in mind that you are making a statement that you have set aside a day for your father. I know that you love you father, and probably see them every other day.

Your children may not understand that, and they may consider it the only day to appreciate you. You will not findout until you have grown old, if they understood the concept.

In fact, looking at the history of mankind where Adam's kids started respecting their loved ones by making images, and slowly their kids starting putting flowers on them, and slowly their kids brought images to Masjid.... until Muslims became pagans.

I am not a scholar, but Allah has given me understanding enough to see potential of adapting traditions from Non-Muslim that are not safe. Why not celebrate Father's day, Mother's day, Valentine's day (with your spouse).... on Eid.

What would you do on Eid? Go to work?

Our Prophet Mohammad (PBUH) did not set aside a day for any of this. He was given knowledge of things to come, and he only celebrated Eid. Do you love others more than he did?

I know most of you ignore what I say, or don't even read it, so I don't expect any big change.

Also, if we are following Islam in other aspects like praying Salat daily, abandon Music, and do what is Halal, and stop what is Haram, then may be your Eiman is strong enough to tolerate this.

And Allah knows best.

Adnan

Constitution of Islam

أيها الناس اسمعوا قولي ، فإني لا أدري لعلي لا ألقاكم بعد عامي هذا بهذا الموقف أبدا ، أيها الناس إن دماءكم وأموالكم عليكم حرام إلى أن تلقوا ربكم كحرمة يومكم هذا ، وكحرمة شهركم هذا ، وإنكم ستلقون ربكم فيسألكم عن أعمالكم وقد بلغت ، فمن كان عنده أمانة فليؤدها إلى من ائتمنه عليها ، وإن كل ربا موضوع ولكن لكم رءوس أموالكم لا تظلمون ولا تظلمون . قضى الله أنه لا ربا ، وإن ربا عباس بن عبد المطلب موضوع كله وأن كل دم كان في الجاهلية موضوع وإن أول دمائكم أضع دم ابن ربيعة بن الحارث بن عبد المطلب ، وكان مسترضعا في بني ليث فقتلته هذيل فهو أول ما أبدأ به من دماء الجاهلية . أما بعد أيها الناس فإن الشيطان قد يئس من أن يعبد بأرضكم هذه أبدا ، ولكنه إن يطع فيما سوى ذلك فقد رضي به بما تحقرون من أعمالكم فاحذروه على دينكم أيها الناس إن النسيء زيادة في الكفر يضل به الذين كفروا ، يحلونه عاما ويحرمونه عاما ، ليواطئوا عدة ما حرم الله فيحلوا ما حرم الله ويحرموا ما أحل الله . إن الزمان قد استدار كهيئته يوم خلق الله السموات والأرض وإن عدة الشهور عند الله اثنا عشر شهرا ، منها أربعة حرم ثلاثة متوالية ورجب مضر ، الذي بين جمادى وشعبان . أما بعد أيها الناس ، فإن لكم على نسائكم حقا ، ولهن عليكم حقا ، لكم عليهن أن لا يوطئن فرشكم أحدا تكرهونه وعليهن أن لا يأتين بفاحشة مبينة فإن فعلن فإن الله قد أذن لكم أن تهجروهن في المضاجع وتضربوهن ضربا غير مبرح فإن انتهين فلهن رزقهن وكسوتهن بالمعروف واستوصوا بالنساء خيرا ، فإنهن عندكم عوان لا يملكن لأنفسهن شيئا ، وإنكم إنما أخذتموهن بأمانة الله واستحللتم فروجهن بكلمات الله فاعقلوا أيها الناس قولي ، فإني قد بلغت ، وقد تركت فيكم ما إن اعتصمتم به فلن تضلوا أبدا ، أمرا بينا ، كتاب الله وسنة نبيه . أيها الناس اسمعوا قولي واعقلوه تعلمن أن كل مسلم أخ للمسلم وأن المسلمين إخوة فلا يحل لامرئ من أخيه إلا ما أعطاه عن طيب نفس منه فلا تظلمن أنفسكم اللهم هل بلغت ؟ فذكر لي أن الناس قالوا : اللهم نعم فقال رسول "الله صلى الله عليه وسلم " اللهم ا شهد

The English translation:
.
After praising, and thanking Allah (The One True God) the Prophet began with the words:

"O People! lend me an attentive ear, for I know not whether after this year I shall ever be amongst you again. Therefore, listen carefully to what I am saying and Take These Words to Those Who Could Not Be Present Here Today.

“O People! just as you regard this month, this day, this city as Sacred, so regard the life and property of every one as a sacred trust. Return the goods entrusted to you to their rightful owners. Hurt no one so that no one may hurt you. Remember that you will indeed meet your LORD, and that he will indeed reckon your deeds.

“Allah has forbidden you to take usury (interest), therefore all interest obligations shall henceforth be waived. Your capital is yours to keep. You will neither inflict nor suffer any inequity. Allah has Judged that there shall be no interest and that all the interest due to Abbas ibn 'Abd al-Muttalib (Prophet's uncle) be waived.

“Every right arising out of homicide in pre-Islamic days is henceforth waived and the first such right that I waive is that arising from the murder of Rabiah ibn al-Harithiah.

“O Men! the unbelievers indulge in tampering with the calender in order to make permissible that which Allah forbade, and to prohibit which Allah has made permissible. With Allah the months are twelve in number. Four of them are holy, three of these are successive and one occurs singly between the months of Jumada and Shaban.

“Beware of Satan, for the safety of your religion. He has lost all hope of that he will be able to lead you astray in big things, so beware of following him in small things.

“O People! it is true that you have certain rights with regard to your women but they also have rights over you. Remember that you have taken them as your wives only under Allah's trust and with His permission. If they abide by your right then to them belongs the right to be fed and clothed in kindness. Do treat your women well and be kind to them for they are your partners and committed helpers. And it is your right that they do not make friends with anyone of whom you do not approve, as well as never to be unchaste.

“O People! listen to me in earnest, worship Allah, say your five daily prayers, fast during month of Ramadan, and give your wealth in Zakat (obligatory charity). Perform Hajj if you can afford to.

“All mankind is from Adam and Eve, an Arab has no superiority over a non-Arab nor a non-Arab has any superiority over an Arab; also a white has no superiority over black nor a black has any superiority over white except by piety and good action. Learn that every Muslim is a brother to every Muslim and that the Muslims constitute one brotherhood. Nothing shall be legitimate to a Muslim which belongs to a fellow Muslim unless it was given freely and willingly.

“Do not therefore do injustice to yourselves. Remember one day you will meet Allah and answer your deeds. So beware, do not astray from the path of righteousness after I am gone.

“O People! No Prophet or Apostle Will Come after Me and No New Faith Will Be Born. Reason well, therefore, O People! and understand words which I convey to you. I leave behind me two things, the QUR’AN and my SUNNAH (i.e., sayings, deeds, and approvals) and if you follow these you will never go astray.

“All those who listen to me shall pass on my words to others and those to others again; and may the last ones understand my words better than those who listen to me directly.

“Be my witness O Allah, that I have conveyed your message to your people."
As part of this sermon, the Prophet recited them a Revelation from Allah which he had just received and which completed the Qur’an, for it was the last passage to be revealed:

This day the disbelievers despair of prevailing against your religion, so fear them not, but fear Me (Allah)! This day have I perfected for you your religion and fulfilled My favor unto you, and it hath been My good pleasure to choose Islam for you as your religion (Surah 5, Ayah 3).

The sermon was repeated sentence by sentence by Safwan's brother Rabiah (RA), who had a powerful voice, at the request of the Prophet and he faithfully proclaimed to over ten thousand gathered on the occasion.

Toward the end of his sermon, the Prophet asked “O people, have I faithfully delivered unto you my message?" A powerful murmur of assent “O Allah, yes!", arose from thousands of pilgrims and the vibrant words “Allahumma na’m” rolled like thunder throughout the valley. The Prophet raised his forefinger and said: “Be my witness O Allah, that I have conveyed your message to your people."